How To Have A Successful Marriage and Family
Posted by: Jacob Betts
FAML-100
This blog contains an important set of guidelines people need to follow if they want to have a successful marriage and family.
Most of the ideas will be from, The Proclamation to the World on the family- from the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This will be a crucial reference to this blog, as well as the book, Successful Marriages and Families, edited by Alan Hawkins, David Dollahite, and Thomas Draper. I feel that this is a book that contains many wonderful principles to live by as we strive to have a harmonious home.
I want my family, and any one else that would like to learn about the importance of families, to gain a better understanding of the importance of these social units and how to have a successful marriage and family. I will use 12 different chapters throughout the book and other LDS Church materials that explains more about these wonderful units.
VIDEOS:
* Here is a video to set the mood of this blog. It explains a little about the foundation of this blog, being the Proclamation, as well as the fact that women should be equal to men-contrary to what the world may think:
The Mormons: Family and Mormon Women - LDS
* This is a video regarding marriage to set more of a foundation:
1) Young Adulthood and Pathways to Eternal
Marriage
The Erosion
of Traditional Dating and Courtship
There are many scholars that have noticed that the dating experiences of the young people today are significantly different than that of their parents and grandparents. These professionals realized "an erosion of traditional courtship patterns and a dating culture that lacks socially defined norms, rituals, and relationship milestones to guide young people toward marriage." Because of these changes there are several hazards in our current dating and courtship culture:
1) A growing pessimism about marriage and a focus in personal independence before and after marriage
2) A primary focus on personal financial independence for both men and women
3) Widespread sexual permissiveness
4) High rates of couples living together before marriage
The problem with these things is that two people really do not get to know the other person. They know how they are when they are around their friends and others, but they do not get the time to get to know them, just the two of them. They do not know how they truly act when something goes wrong, or even right because people act differently when they are in a group of people than when they are alone with one other person. You will not always be around your friends. A married couple spends a lot of their time on their own. If a couple were to just hang out and not go on official dates, then they really do not get the chance to figure out who the person is and how they act in different situations. They only get a feel of who they are in front of friends. People do not know for sure when they hang out in groups if they are even a couple or what their status is. The feel and attitudes are completely different as well. A relationship like this is confusing and does not get anywhere very fast. This is what Elder Oaks specifically said, "The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out."
Pessimism About Marriage
Even though marriage is being postponed on many fronts, a study in 2009 by Bachman, Johnston, and O' Malley showed that 90% of young adults in the U.S. rate "having a good marriage and family life" as being "quite important" or "very important" to them.
"Simply put, when it comes to marriage, many young adults today have high aspirations but low expectations." (SMF)
Because marriage is not made out to be very productive and even looked down upon in some circumstances, young adults are preparing more for divorce than marriage. There is so much divorce and it is so popular that people these days are worried more about getting divorced and using it as in easy way out rather than the joys of being married.
Getting Ahead Before Getting Wed
There are many scholars that have noticed that the dating experiences of the young people today are significantly different than that of their parents and grandparents. These professionals realized "an erosion of traditional courtship patterns and a dating culture that lacks socially defined norms, rituals, and relationship milestones to guide young people toward marriage." Because of these changes there are several hazards in our current dating and courtship culture:
1) A growing pessimism about marriage and a focus in personal independence before and after marriage
2) A primary focus on personal financial independence for both men and women
3) Widespread sexual permissiveness
4) High rates of couples living together before marriage
Dating is on the decline among members of the LDS church, as in the world in general. These are specific reasons that dating is on the decline, and how it correlates with increasing divorce and other marital difficulties.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, talked about how people from the ages of 18-25 want to postpone their responsibilities of adulthood. They do this by not actively finding someone to commit to and get married, and they specifically do this by just “hanging out” rather than formal dating. Also, dating is looked down upon and “old school” or out-of-style. It is not “cool” anymore to go up to a girl and ask her if she would like to go to dinner and do some sort of activity with him. These days, people are just hanging out in small or large groups and just chillin’. Elder Oaks also mentioned a few others: “commitment is bad”- the world portrays this in everything, women’s movement has made some women more aggressive and in turn made some men reluctant to doing their traditional initiatives, hanging out is made cool on TV, and the word “date” is becoming something that it is expensive and out of proportion rather than a get-to-know-you.
A classmate of mine, Linda Pulsipher, said this about dating, "The benefit of going on a lot of 'dates' with a lot of different people, is that you really learn about the traits in other people that you do and do not want in a future spouse. When you are just hanging out, you really don't get to know any one person well enough to know if they would make a good companion. Anyone can put on a good front for a short amount of time. You really need to get to know people in different situations to see how they react and behave in a variety of circumstances. Than you really know what kind of person they are."
The problem with these things is that two people really do not get to know the other person. They know how they are when they are around their friends and others, but they do not get the time to get to know them, just the two of them. They do not know how they truly act when something goes wrong, or even right because people act differently when they are in a group of people than when they are alone with one other person. You will not always be around your friends. A married couple spends a lot of their time on their own. If a couple were to just hang out and not go on official dates, then they really do not get the chance to figure out who the person is and how they act in different situations. They only get a feel of who they are in front of friends. People do not know for sure when they hang out in groups if they are even a couple or what their status is. The feel and attitudes are completely different as well. A relationship like this is confusing and does not get anywhere very fast. This is what Elder Oaks specifically said, "The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out."
(SMandF) These are some reasons why men are so unwilling to marry early:
- They can get sex without marriage.
- They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.
- They face few social pressures to marry.
- They want to enjoy single life as long as they can.
Pessimism About Marriage
"Simply put, when it comes to marriage, many young adults today have high aspirations but low expectations." (SMF)
Because marriage is not made out to be very productive and even looked down upon in some circumstances, young adults are preparing more for divorce than marriage. There is so much divorce and it is so popular that people these days are worried more about getting divorced and using it as in easy way out rather than the joys of being married.
Getting Ahead Before Getting Wed
Times have definitely changed! Young adults these days are more concerned about being self-reliant and a strong individual rather than preparing for family life and serving others. In past generations this was the opposite. There were certain responsibilities that were taken in order to assure a strong family life.
The ideas of being prepared for marriage have been skewed over the years. In a recent study, emerging adults have said that they should not only be financially independent form their parents before marriage, but they should also be completed with their education and be well established in their career. This is to much to have done before the thought of marriage even comes across. It is great to be stable and be comfortable in your career so that you are able to provide for the family. However, when will that point arise? How do you know when you are financially stable? When will you be ready to settle down and have kids? Who is ever ready to have kids? No one is really ever ready. There are always surprises.
Hanging
Out and Hooking Up
"Hey, you wanna hang out tonight? We're all going over to Mike's and chillin'." Hanging out is becoming way too common these days. There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends or buds, but if it starts to replace dating, then that's a problem.
Only 50% of college women said that they had been asked to go out on 6 dates or more. Young adults have said that even though they have been hanging around a certain individual for a long amount of time, they still do not know if they are a couple. What is up with that?! Has anyone ever heard of DTR? Define the relationship. That was the big thing when I went to school. It is hard to believe that people do not even do that anymore. Wouldn't people like to know if they are an "item" or a couple? Popping the question would really be an issue then!
"...single life in modern culture has become synonymous with sexual experimentation in non-committed relationships." (SMF) With that said, hanging out with friends and "hooking up" to replace planned dating will lead to the death of dating and therefore the eventual success of marriages and families.
"Hey, you wanna hang out tonight? We're all going over to Mike's and chillin'." Hanging out is becoming way too common these days. There is nothing wrong with spending time with your friends or buds, but if it starts to replace dating, then that's a problem.
Only 50% of college women said that they had been asked to go out on 6 dates or more. Young adults have said that even though they have been hanging around a certain individual for a long amount of time, they still do not know if they are a couple. What is up with that?! Has anyone ever heard of DTR? Define the relationship. That was the big thing when I went to school. It is hard to believe that people do not even do that anymore. Wouldn't people like to know if they are an "item" or a couple? Popping the question would really be an issue then!
"...single life in modern culture has become synonymous with sexual experimentation in non-committed relationships." (SMF) With that said, hanging out with friends and "hooking up" to replace planned dating will lead to the death of dating and therefore the eventual success of marriages and families.
2) Approaches to Dating
Becoming a
Right Person for Marriage
How do I find Mr./ Ms. Right? There are many people who think that there is one special person out there for them. They have to find this one person, their "soul-mate". Because of this, they are overwhelmed and may even give up altogether.
Elder David A. Bednar (2009) said it best regarding finding that special someone, but it is not what you expect. As he visited many young adults all over the Church he found that they ask him what are some things they should look for in a future spouse. He finds that they have a checklist of things that their spouse needs to have. He forcefully responds,"You are so arrogant to think that you are some catch and that you want someone else who has these 5 things for you! If you found somebody who had these three or four or five characteristics that you're looking for , what makes you think they'd want to marry you?"
The list is not for evaluating someone else- the list is for you and what you need to become. "...You are not on a shopping spree looking for the greatest value with a series of characteristics. You become what you hope your spouse will be and you'll have a greater likelihood of finding that person."
How do I find Mr./ Ms. Right? There are many people who think that there is one special person out there for them. They have to find this one person, their "soul-mate". Because of this, they are overwhelmed and may even give up altogether.
Elder David A. Bednar (2009) said it best regarding finding that special someone, but it is not what you expect. As he visited many young adults all over the Church he found that they ask him what are some things they should look for in a future spouse. He finds that they have a checklist of things that their spouse needs to have. He forcefully responds,"You are so arrogant to think that you are some catch and that you want someone else who has these 5 things for you! If you found somebody who had these three or four or five characteristics that you're looking for , what makes you think they'd want to marry you?"
The list is not for evaluating someone else- the list is for you and what you need to become. "...You are not on a shopping spree looking for the greatest value with a series of characteristics. You become what you hope your spouse will be and you'll have a greater likelihood of finding that person."
Faith and
Discipleship in Marriage
For some people, the thought of finding the right person becoming ready for marriage, and making a marriage work is scary. They are scared of repeating the mistakes of their parents or others they've seen and do not want a divorce. With these and many other types of fears about marriage it is best to start at developing faith in Jesus Christ.
We are all familiar with the scripture in 1 Nephi 3:7. God commanded Nephi to go and get the plates from the wicked Laban. He was scared to do it, but he knew that God would not give him something he could not do. The same applies to marriage. Even though the task may seem daunting, God will provide a way. God loves us so He will make it possible for us to prepare for marriage and then achieve a successful marriage as well.
For some people, the thought of finding the right person becoming ready for marriage, and making a marriage work is scary. They are scared of repeating the mistakes of their parents or others they've seen and do not want a divorce. With these and many other types of fears about marriage it is best to start at developing faith in Jesus Christ.
We are all familiar with the scripture in 1 Nephi 3:7. God commanded Nephi to go and get the plates from the wicked Laban. He was scared to do it, but he knew that God would not give him something he could not do. The same applies to marriage. Even though the task may seem daunting, God will provide a way. God loves us so He will make it possible for us to prepare for marriage and then achieve a successful marriage as well.
When? -
The Timing of Marriage
An interesting statistic: in 1950 the average age for marriage was
Females: 20
Males: 22
In 2010:
Females: 26
Males: 28
As we can see here, the average age for marriage, and even in the Church is slowing, and getting older. Is is better that people are waiting to get married because they are more mature, or is it better to get an early start to marriage?
Prophets and Apostles have counseled us on the timing of marriage. President Hinckley said, I remind you that the association you now enjoy as students is probably the best time of your lives to find your own "Beloved Eternal Companion." So so with a prayer in your heart. It will be the most important decision you will ever make. It will influence you life from now through all eternity."
Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught, "It's marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters."
"Dating Versus Hanging Out" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
An interesting statistic: in 1950 the average age for marriage was
Females: 20
Males: 22
In 2010:
Females: 26
Males: 28
As we can see here, the average age for marriage, and even in the Church is slowing, and getting older. Is is better that people are waiting to get married because they are more mature, or is it better to get an early start to marriage?
Prophets and Apostles have counseled us on the timing of marriage. President Hinckley said, I remind you that the association you now enjoy as students is probably the best time of your lives to find your own "Beloved Eternal Companion." So so with a prayer in your heart. It will be the most important decision you will ever make. It will influence you life from now through all eternity."
Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught, "It's marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters."
"Dating Versus Hanging Out" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Who? -
Eternal Companions versus Soul Mate
We live in the age of "soul-mates". However there are no such things! I love how President Spencer W. Kimball warned members, "Soul mates are fiction and illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."
I also really like what Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said about this. He said that you do not have a soulmate in this life- only one person for you. However, when you marry- that person becomes your soulmate- the only person for you.
We live in the age of "soul-mates". However there are no such things! I love how President Spencer W. Kimball warned members, "Soul mates are fiction and illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."
I also really like what Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said about this. He said that you do not have a soulmate in this life- only one person for you. However, when you marry- that person becomes your soulmate- the only person for you.
How? - A
Pattern of Dating for Divine Purposes
Elder Oaks encouraged young adults to engage in traditional dating patterns that can lead to exclusive dating, engagement, and marriage.
Even though traditional dating is diminishing, young adults still need to and are encouraged to date.
There comes a time in traditional dating when it reaches the point of exclusive dating. This is supposed to happen. Getting to know someone, on a one-on-one basis is the best way to know if they are marriage-material. Hanging out with them will not allow you to know if you both are ready for engagement.
The exclusive dating phase of a relationship is the best time to decide whether you should marry someone or not. In this phase you can decide if this is the person you really want to have family with. There may be red flags that pop up and they should be addressed before moving forward. This is the time to decide if marriage is really going to happen.
Elder Oaks encouraged young adults to engage in traditional dating patterns that can lead to exclusive dating, engagement, and marriage.
Even though traditional dating is diminishing, young adults still need to and are encouraged to date.
There comes a time in traditional dating when it reaches the point of exclusive dating. This is supposed to happen. Getting to know someone, on a one-on-one basis is the best way to know if they are marriage-material. Hanging out with them will not allow you to know if you both are ready for engagement.
The exclusive dating phase of a relationship is the best time to decide whether you should marry someone or not. In this phase you can decide if this is the person you really want to have family with. There may be red flags that pop up and they should be addressed before moving forward. This is the time to decide if marriage is really going to happen.
3) ABC’s of Successful Romantic Relationship
Development
Family
Experiences
Everyone has been raised differently. We all come from different backgrounds and have had different experiences growing up in our families. Some are good and others are not. Either way, we are not condemned by our past.
We can make the differences we want to see in our marriage and family life. It will take time and dedication, but it is possible to achieve what we really want. People may argue that history always repeats itself. However, if we are the ones that break the cycle and set a new course towards a successful future, who can stop you? Our marriages and families depend on us. The success of our lives depends on how we want it to be and how much we are willing to contribute.
Awareness
and Acquaintance Phase
To notice someone they have to be doing something that catches your eye, or be attractive themselves. being physically attracted and attractive to someone is important. However, what should we look for besides physical attraction? This is what Elder Richard G. Scott suggested:
1) A deep love of the Lord and His commandments and a determination to live them
2) Kindly understanding
3) Forgiving of others
4) Willing to give of self
5) A desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home
To notice someone they have to be doing something that catches your eye, or be attractive themselves. being physically attracted and attractive to someone is important. However, what should we look for besides physical attraction? This is what Elder Richard G. Scott suggested:
1) A deep love of the Lord and His commandments and a determination to live them
2) Kindly understanding3) Forgiving of others
4) Willing to give of self
5) A desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home
Buildup Phase
We need to seek mutual influence. By this I mean men and women have to have a positive influence on each other. There will be a higher quality of a relationship if both of them understand each other and are willing to uplift one another by what they do and say.
They also need to develop mature love. Elder Marvin J. Ashton said, "True love is a process. True love requires personal action. Love must be continuing to be real. Love takes time. Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love. How hollow, how empty is our love is no deeper than the arousal of momentary feeling or the expression in words of what is no more lasting than the time it takes to speak to them."
Love Takes Time (Elder Marvin J. Ashton)
The Transition from B to C
I really like what the book (SMF) said about the phase between B and C- the buildup and commitment:
During the transition from the buildup phase to the commitment phase, couples will be asking themselves and each other things like: Do we know enough about each other? Do we like what we have learned? Do we communicate well enough to want to spend more time together? As they think about and talk about their relationship, they find themselves becoming more future-oriented and imagining a joint future. They are moving out of the initial "falling in love" and are developing characteristics of sincere, mature love. These kinds of behaviors and attitudes make the transition to deeply committed relationships possible.
We need to seek mutual influence. By this I mean men and women have to have a positive influence on each other. There will be a higher quality of a relationship if both of them understand each other and are willing to uplift one another by what they do and say.
They also need to develop mature love. Elder Marvin J. Ashton said, "True love is a process. True love requires personal action. Love must be continuing to be real. Love takes time. Too often expediency, infatuation, stimulation, persuasion, or lust are mistaken for love. How hollow, how empty is our love is no deeper than the arousal of momentary feeling or the expression in words of what is no more lasting than the time it takes to speak to them."
Love Takes Time (Elder Marvin J. Ashton)
The Transition from B to C
I really like what the book (SMF) said about the phase between B and C- the buildup and commitment:
During the transition from the buildup phase to the commitment phase, couples will be asking themselves and each other things like: Do we know enough about each other? Do we like what we have learned? Do we communicate well enough to want to spend more time together? As they think about and talk about their relationship, they find themselves becoming more future-oriented and imagining a joint future. They are moving out of the initial "falling in love" and are developing characteristics of sincere, mature love. These kinds of behaviors and attitudes make the transition to deeply committed relationships possible.
Commitment
and Continuation
To receive spiritual confirmation on whether or not this is the person I should marry we need to be living the standards of the Church. We all have our agency. We have the freedom to choose whomever we wish to marry. However, at the same time we are to counsel with the Lord in all things. With that said, we need to make our own choices, but then can bring our choice to our Heavenly Father to get His approval.
Another important point is that this spiritual confirmation needs to come to both the young man and young woman. Both people need to receive that knowledge for this to work. That way when they both do, they both know that God will back them up.
To receive spiritual confirmation on whether or not this is the person I should marry we need to be living the standards of the Church. We all have our agency. We have the freedom to choose whomever we wish to marry. However, at the same time we are to counsel with the Lord in all things. With that said, we need to make our own choices, but then can bring our choice to our Heavenly Father to get His approval.
Another important point is that this spiritual confirmation needs to come to both the young man and young woman. Both people need to receive that knowledge for this to work. That way when they both do, they both know that God will back them up.
Wedding
Preparation versus Marriage Preparation
Elder Richard G. Scott said, "Do not let receptions, wedding breakfasts, farewells, or other activities overshadow the sacred temple experience." We have to remember that among the big wedding day celebration we don't diminish the whole reason why family and friends are gathering. It is because of the sacredness of marriage, not necessarily the wedding.
"Receive the Temple Blessings" RICHARD G. SCOTT Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Elder Richard G. Scott said, "Do not let receptions, wedding breakfasts, farewells, or other activities overshadow the sacred temple experience." We have to remember that among the big wedding day celebration we don't diminish the whole reason why family and friends are gathering. It is because of the sacredness of marriage, not necessarily the wedding.
"Receive the Temple Blessings" RICHARD G. SCOTT Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
4) Equal Partnership between Men and Women in Families
Adam and
Eve
Yes, Eve partook of the forbidden fruit first. Does that make her bad? Is she mistaken by this and does that make all of her daughters flawed? Of course not! We know that it was essential and crucial to God's plan for her to eat of the fruit. She should be commended for her courage. Perhaps because she did this thing, the world looks down on Eve and therefore all women. This is greatly discouraged int he Church! Adam and Eve and men and women are equal and should be equal partners.
Yes, Eve partook of the forbidden fruit first. Does that make her bad? Is she mistaken by this and does that make all of her daughters flawed? Of course not! We know that it was essential and crucial to God's plan for her to eat of the fruit. She should be commended for her courage. Perhaps because she did this thing, the world looks down on Eve and therefore all women. This is greatly discouraged int he Church! Adam and Eve and men and women are equal and should be equal partners.
Stewards
in Equal Partnership
Elder Scott said, "In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs. This is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions. That is a cruel, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that every Priesthood holder must reject. It is founded on the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman. Nothing could be farther from the truth."
Equal Partnership in Marriage
In the home, the father and mother are to serve and work together as equals. They should share decisions and always work together.
Elder Scott said, "In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs. This is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions. That is a cruel, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that every Priesthood holder must reject. It is founded on the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman. Nothing could be farther from the truth."
Equal Partnership in Marriage
In the home, the father and mother are to serve and work together as equals. They should share decisions and always work together.
Benefits
of Equal Partnership
It's simple. According to research, it has demonstrated that couples who have an equal partnership have happier relationships, better individual well-being, more effective parenting practices, and better-functioning children. If there is a relationship where one spouse is superior to the other, their overall marital quality is poor.
If parents are trying to dominate over the other, their parenting tactics will not be as successful. They will not be united and the children will see that. They must work in unity and have each other's backs. When this is done, both partners will be better parents generally and be happier as well.
It's simple. According to research, it has demonstrated that couples who have an equal partnership have happier relationships, better individual well-being, more effective parenting practices, and better-functioning children. If there is a relationship where one spouse is superior to the other, their overall marital quality is poor.
If parents are trying to dominate over the other, their parenting tactics will not be as successful. They will not be united and the children will see that. They must work in unity and have each other's backs. When this is done, both partners will be better parents generally and be happier as well.
5) Marital Sexuality and Fertility
LDS and
Other Religion’s Doctrines on the Purposes of Marital Sexuality
The book (SMF) states several purposes of marital sexuality very well:
1) Becoming one
2) Connecting with God
3) Strengthening the emotional and spiritual bonds in marriage
4) Avoiding temptation
5) Continuing the generational chain by bringing children into a family.
The book (SMF) states several purposes of marital sexuality very well:
1) Becoming one
2) Connecting with God
3) Strengthening the emotional and spiritual bonds in marriage
4) Avoiding temptation
5) Continuing the generational chain by bringing children into a family.
The
Decision to Bear and Rear Children
President Hinckley said, "If you are married, you and your spouse should discuss your sacred responsibility to bring children into the world and nurture them in righteousness."
Birth Control
I really like what the Church Handbook says about couple who are able to have children, "The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter."
I love quotes from Prophets and Apostles of the church because they give weight to my thoughts and feelings. Elder Oaks counseled, "How many children should a couple have? All they can care for! Of course, to care for children means more than simply giving them life. Children must be loved, nurtured, taught, fed, clothed, housed, and well started in their capacities to be good parents themselves."
With all of this, we can never forget the first commandment God gave to his children- multiply and replenish the earth. This commandment remains in full force today as we see and hear in the sacred temple.
President Hinckley said, "If you are married, you and your spouse should discuss your sacred responsibility to bring children into the world and nurture them in righteousness."
Birth Control
I really like what the Church Handbook says about couple who are able to have children, "The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter."
I love quotes from Prophets and Apostles of the church because they give weight to my thoughts and feelings. Elder Oaks counseled, "How many children should a couple have? All they can care for! Of course, to care for children means more than simply giving them life. Children must be loved, nurtured, taught, fed, clothed, housed, and well started in their capacities to be good parents themselves."
With all of this, we can never forget the first commandment God gave to his children- multiply and replenish the earth. This commandment remains in full force today as we see and hear in the sacred temple.
6) Honoring Marital Vows with Complete
Fidelity
A
Typology of Infidelity
Fortunately, most people, based on research, agree that infidelity in marriage is wrong. The way trends are going, I thought that many people would not find that it was even a big deal. However, in any case, infidelity is wrong and is a sin.
There are different types of infidelity: fantasy, visual/ pornography, romantic, and sexual infidelity. President Harold B. Lee said this about the subject, "...thought is the father of an act. No man ever committed murder who did not first become angry. No one ever committed adultery without a preceding immoral thought. The thief did not steal except he first coveted that which was his neighbor's. All types of infidelity are wrong and can ruin a marriage."
The Nature of Marriage and Marital Commitment
Fortunately, most people, based on research, agree that infidelity in marriage is wrong. The way trends are going, I thought that many people would not find that it was even a big deal. However, in any case, infidelity is wrong and is a sin.
There are different types of infidelity: fantasy, visual/ pornography, romantic, and sexual infidelity. President Harold B. Lee said this about the subject, "...thought is the father of an act. No man ever committed murder who did not first become angry. No one ever committed adultery without a preceding immoral thought. The thief did not steal except he first coveted that which was his neighbor's. All types of infidelity are wrong and can ruin a marriage."
The Nature of Marriage and Marital Commitment
Consequences of Infidelity
Being unfaithful to your spouse has spiritual consequences. The Lord's purposes are undermined when people commit adultery. That person who is misusing their body will not only have spiritual consequences, but emotional and others too.
Infidelity is one of the leading factors in divorce. The spouse who has been cheated on feels abandoned, undesirable, insecure, helpless, repulsed, and maybe even suicidal. (SMF)
Being unfaithful to your spouse has spiritual consequences. The Lord's purposes are undermined when people commit adultery. That person who is misusing their body will not only have spiritual consequences, but emotional and others too.
Infidelity is one of the leading factors in divorce. The spouse who has been cheated on feels abandoned, undesirable, insecure, helpless, repulsed, and maybe even suicidal. (SMF)
Repairing Marriage after Infidelity
Here are some steps to take is infidelity has taken place:
1) Rebuild trust
The unfaithful person needs to take accountability for their actions. With this there are many consequences which were mentioned previously. The also need to rebuild the trust between them and their spouse, which may take a lot of time.
2) Gain perspective
Just because your spouse may have cheated on you, it does not necessarily mean that they did it because you are not attractive enough. They need to realize that.
3) Repentance and forgiveness
Just like any sin, we have to confess our sin, in this case to the proper Church authorities. We then we have to forsake the sin and find forgiveness.
4) Overcoming addiction
There are several helpful programs and ways to overcome this type of addiction.
5) Making the choice to stay together
The past needs to be healed first of all. Don't fall back on any of these issues. (SMF) The book also says that you need to strengthen the present and enrich the future.
Repairing a marriage will not be easy, but it is possible through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Here are some steps to take is infidelity has taken place:
1) Rebuild trust
The unfaithful person needs to take accountability for their actions. With this there are many consequences which were mentioned previously. The also need to rebuild the trust between them and their spouse, which may take a lot of time.
2) Gain perspective
Just because your spouse may have cheated on you, it does not necessarily mean that they did it because you are not attractive enough. They need to realize that.
3) Repentance and forgivenessJust like any sin, we have to confess our sin, in this case to the proper Church authorities. We then we have to forsake the sin and find forgiveness.
4) Overcoming addiction
There are several helpful programs and ways to overcome this type of addiction.
5) Making the choice to stay together
The past needs to be healed first of all. Don't fall back on any of these issues. (SMF) The book also says that you need to strengthen the present and enrich the future.
Repairing a marriage will not be easy, but it is possible through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ.
7) Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude
Spiritual Personality and Genetic Traits
President Joseph F. Smith said, in 1912, "Notwithstanding this fact that our recollection of former things was taken away, the character of our lives in the spirit world has much to do with our disposition, desires and mentality here in mortal life."
Every child is different. With that, parenting techniques per child need to be tailored around each one. Every child has a different personality and nature. According to this, "parents need to work to adjust, relate to, and rear each child in a manner that is somewhat tempered to individual needs as parents and children learn from each other." Something that may work for one child, may not work for another. As parents are lead by the Spirit, they can know how they can best teach and communicate with their children.
President Joseph F. Smith said, in 1912, "Notwithstanding this fact that our recollection of former things was taken away, the character of our lives in the spirit world has much to do with our disposition, desires and mentality here in mortal life."
Every child is different. With that, parenting techniques per child need to be tailored around each one. Every child has a different personality and nature. According to this, "parents need to work to adjust, relate to, and rear each child in a manner that is somewhat tempered to individual needs as parents and children learn from each other." Something that may work for one child, may not work for another. As parents are lead by the Spirit, they can know how they can best teach and communicate with their children.
Rearing Children in Love and Righteousness
I love what Brigham Young suggested to parents, "Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by faith rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into all truth and holiness."
Parental Responsibility
D&C emphasizes certain righteous parenting:
- charity
- gentleness
- kindness
- long-suffering
- persuasion
- appropriate discipline in a warm and nurturing relationship
Parents are to guide their children, but not do it forcefully. This can arouse feelings of contempt and frustration. However, as parents teach their children in love and righteousness a strong bond can happen and their relationship can grow. Trust is then built and strengthened and progression in both person's lives will be furthered. Just as the Savior taught by example, and love and righteousness, so should parents.
I love what Brigham Young suggested to parents, "Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by faith rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into all truth and holiness."
Parental Responsibility
D&C emphasizes certain righteous parenting:
- charity
- gentleness
- kindness
- long-suffering
- persuasion
- appropriate discipline in a warm and nurturing relationship
Parents are to guide their children, but not do it forcefully. This can arouse feelings of contempt and frustration. However, as parents teach their children in love and righteousness a strong bond can happen and their relationship can grow. Trust is then built and strengthened and progression in both person's lives will be furthered. Just as the Savior taught by example, and love and righteousness, so should parents.
Maintaining a Strong and Positive Influence on Children
How do parents keep a strong influence on their kids when the world is competing for their loyalty and trust as well? Studies have shown that peers have quite a bit of influence on things like clothing, hair styles, use of slang, and other shallow behaviors. These aspects of life change quickly as kids' friendships change. However, parents are most likely to have influence on the things that are more meaningful like religion, politics, education, and other core values. Do not fear too much. The Lord is on our side, and as we do what He asks, He will help us raise our children and help us keep influencing them in a positive manner.
How do parents keep a strong influence on their kids when the world is competing for their loyalty and trust as well? Studies have shown that peers have quite a bit of influence on things like clothing, hair styles, use of slang, and other shallow behaviors. These aspects of life change quickly as kids' friendships change. However, parents are most likely to have influence on the things that are more meaningful like religion, politics, education, and other core values. Do not fear too much. The Lord is on our side, and as we do what He asks, He will help us raise our children and help us keep influencing them in a positive manner.
8) Mothers as Nurturers
Questions about the Importance of Motherhood
A survey was taken in 2005 in relation to motherhood. The results were that only 48% of mothers felt appreciated most of the time. 20% said that they felt less valued by society when they became a mother. They feel that society does not value is great work that they do as mothers. Because of this many mothers want to go into the workplace and gain a self-satifying reward that is noticed more in society. As unfortunate as this is, it is true and needs to be changes, or at least the views of motherhood.
A survey was taken in 2005 in relation to motherhood. The results were that only 48% of mothers felt appreciated most of the time. 20% said that they felt less valued by society when they became a mother. They feel that society does not value is great work that they do as mothers. Because of this many mothers want to go into the workplace and gain a self-satifying reward that is noticed more in society. As unfortunate as this is, it is true and needs to be changes, or at least the views of motherhood.
Prophetic Teachings about the Importance of Motherhood
In 1942, the First Presidency declared, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to angels."
“The Family Is Central to the Creator’s Plan”
Elder J. Reuben Clark Jr. said, "The calling of motherhood has been identified as the most ennobling endowment God could give is daughters, as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself."
So as we can all see, motherhood is very important. I think it is key in the role of everyone else. Yes, there are wonderful doctors, actors, scientists out there that get huge accolades. Is it fun to have these big rewards? Sure! Are they any more important than the mothers who spend most of their time cleaning up spilled milk and cleaning the house, teaching the future doctors, actors, and scientists? I dare say definitely not! Even though these celebrities may get more publicity and societal rewards, these people would not even be there without their mothers backing them up, cleaning them up, and building up their dreams.
Mothers are essential to everyone's well-being. Mothers are wonderful!
In 1942, the First Presidency declared, "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to angels."
“The Family Is Central to the Creator’s Plan”
Elder J. Reuben Clark Jr. said, "The calling of motherhood has been identified as the most ennobling endowment God could give is daughters, as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself."
So as we can all see, motherhood is very important. I think it is key in the role of everyone else. Yes, there are wonderful doctors, actors, scientists out there that get huge accolades. Is it fun to have these big rewards? Sure! Are they any more important than the mothers who spend most of their time cleaning up spilled milk and cleaning the house, teaching the future doctors, actors, and scientists? I dare say definitely not! Even though these celebrities may get more publicity and societal rewards, these people would not even be there without their mothers backing them up, cleaning them up, and building up their dreams.
Mothers are essential to everyone's well-being. Mothers are wonderful!
9) Honor Thy Father
Key Principles And Practices in Fathering
"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." (FP)
I have heard that this can be divided into three P's, but I'd like to also add a fourth one from the book (SMF):
"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." (FP)
I have heard that this can be divided into three P's, but I'd like to also add a fourth one from the book (SMF):
To
Preside
A leading Jewish philosopher, Abraham Heschel, recognized the father as powerful spiritual figure in the family circle with a moral responsibility to teach and care for his children. I fully agree with that. I have seen in my own life how my father was a spiritual teacher for me in his example and fulfilling his responsibilities.
In a study, it has shown that children of pre-school age, whose fathers have a positive involvement with them, they show higher social competence and have fewer problems in school. So, not only do mothers have an important role in the young lives of their children, but fathers so as well.
A leading Jewish philosopher, Abraham Heschel, recognized the father as powerful spiritual figure in the family circle with a moral responsibility to teach and care for his children. I fully agree with that. I have seen in my own life how my father was a spiritual teacher for me in his example and fulfilling his responsibilities.
In a study, it has shown that children of pre-school age, whose fathers have a positive involvement with them, they show higher social competence and have fewer problems in school. So, not only do mothers have an important role in the young lives of their children, but fathers so as well.
To Partner
Parenthood is not just a mother's responsibility nor father's alone. It is a partnership where they work together to fulfill the needs of their children. Fathers need to partner with the mother to teach and raise their children in love and righteousness. In the Proclamation, it also says that fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Parenthood is a partnership, and an equal one at that.
There will be times when you need to make compromises and sacrifices. We have to remember to put one another first and to care for them before ourselves, and as we do that we will become closer together. As this happens we will become closer to making decisions together. We have covenanted to do many things, and being able to come to a conclusion together will help us achieve those things.
Parenthood is not just a mother's responsibility nor father's alone. It is a partnership where they work together to fulfill the needs of their children. Fathers need to partner with the mother to teach and raise their children in love and righteousness. In the Proclamation, it also says that fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Parenthood is a partnership, and an equal one at that.
There will be times when you need to make compromises and sacrifices. We have to remember to put one another first and to care for them before ourselves, and as we do that we will become closer together. As this happens we will become closer to making decisions together. We have covenanted to do many things, and being able to come to a conclusion together will help us achieve those things.
To Provide
We as humans have some fundamental necessities in life: food, clothing, and shelter. The father is the primary individual responsible for the temporal well-being of the family. As men provide the physical needs such as food for their family it builds them up as nurturing mothers builds themselves up. Fathers providing the temporal things for their families has been socially accepted for many many years. Hunters would go and provide meat for the families. The men would be the hunters, while the women would take care of the children. This has been the same for many years. God has designed it this way to be the most effective and efficient.
God blessed men with certain abilities and He also blessed women with certain abilities. Men by nature are more competitive and protective. Men are also physically stronger and tougher than women, generally. Women are more nurturing, more kind-hearted, and supportive of others. They also are more fragile (which isn’t necessarily bad), caring, and more emotionally aware. These strengths of both men and women are very important and very different, but both are needed in the world.
We as humans have some fundamental necessities in life: food, clothing, and shelter. The father is the primary individual responsible for the temporal well-being of the family. As men provide the physical needs such as food for their family it builds them up as nurturing mothers builds themselves up. Fathers providing the temporal things for their families has been socially accepted for many many years. Hunters would go and provide meat for the families. The men would be the hunters, while the women would take care of the children. This has been the same for many years. God has designed it this way to be the most effective and efficient.
God blessed men with certain abilities and He also blessed women with certain abilities. Men by nature are more competitive and protective. Men are also physically stronger and tougher than women, generally. Women are more nurturing, more kind-hearted, and supportive of others. They also are more fragile (which isn’t necessarily bad), caring, and more emotionally aware. These strengths of both men and women are very important and very different, but both are needed in the world.
To Protect
Fathers are also meant to protect the family. This does not mean that a mother cannot protect the kids. It simply means that this is what God has in mind. He desires that the fathers be the primary protectors. Through the ages the men were the ones protecting the villages as they went to war. Men, by nature, are physically stronger and therefore (in my opinion) are meant to be the protectors. For example, would you feel safer having a male or female bodyguard as you went into a dangerous environment? This is not meant to offend anyone, it is simply just stating what is. God loves us all and He wants us to be equal, but our roles are different in responsibility.
10)
Modern Fertility Patterns and God's
Commandment to Multiply and Replenish the Earth
Multiply and Replenish: A Command from The Lord
God created Adam and Eve and gave them the commandment to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it." (Genesis 1:28). I'm not sure how people get confused by this commandment, but to me it is very simple. Of course this commandment was given at the beginning of time, so a long time ago, but as we enter the Lord's house on a regular basis, and as President Hinckley has said, we are reminded that this commandment remains in force even today.
Married couples are given the right and responsibility to fill the earth with children. However, modern fertility patterns show that people around the world are having smaller families and in many cases no children at all. "These decisions not to "multiply and replenish the earth" have significant consequences for generations to come." (SMF)
God created Adam and Eve and gave them the commandment to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it." (Genesis 1:28). I'm not sure how people get confused by this commandment, but to me it is very simple. Of course this commandment was given at the beginning of time, so a long time ago, but as we enter the Lord's house on a regular basis, and as President Hinckley has said, we are reminded that this commandment remains in force even today.
Married couples are given the right and responsibility to fill the earth with children. However, modern fertility patterns show that people around the world are having smaller families and in many cases no children at all. "These decisions not to "multiply and replenish the earth" have significant consequences for generations to come." (SMF)
Why Fertility Rates are Decreasing
Unlike the 'good ol' days,' rather than children being a great blessing from the Lord, it is looked upon as more of a burden and liability. With this being a very busy world where people are climbing up the worldly ladder of success, there isn't much time or want for children. It seems people care more about what they want and how they want to do it rather than bringing to earth, God's spiritual children. They are not caring so much about the way God wants them to do it, and what will be most beneficial to their lives. Times are changing.
There is also a fear of overpopulation, government pressure not to have kids, people simply choosing to remain childless, and more contraceptive use. Some of these reasons have a good point, and others, not so much. As bringing children into the world is still a commandment, it is under the responsibility alone, of the husband and wife (as well as the Lord) when to have kids, and how many. No one should take that opportunity away.
Unlike the 'good ol' days,' rather than children being a great blessing from the Lord, it is looked upon as more of a burden and liability. With this being a very busy world where people are climbing up the worldly ladder of success, there isn't much time or want for children. It seems people care more about what they want and how they want to do it rather than bringing to earth, God's spiritual children. They are not caring so much about the way God wants them to do it, and what will be most beneficial to their lives. Times are changing.
There is also a fear of overpopulation, government pressure not to have kids, people simply choosing to remain childless, and more contraceptive use. Some of these reasons have a good point, and others, not so much. As bringing children into the world is still a commandment, it is under the responsibility alone, of the husband and wife (as well as the Lord) when to have kids, and how many. No one should take that opportunity away.
Blessings of Multiplying and Replenishing the Earth
A global society consists of nations of communities of families. Society as a whole is stronger when the family is placed as the natural and fundamental group. It follows that citizens who are parents are more invested in the well-being of their community. (SMF)
Many Prophets and Apostles ave also associated parenting with the blessing of joy. President James E. Faust of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, "...while few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy."
Elder Russell M. Nelson stated, "God has revealed the eternal nature of celestial marriage and the family as the source of our greatest joy."
President Hinckley proclaimed, "Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none of is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts becomes life's most satisfying compensation."
Save the Children
A global society consists of nations of communities of families. Society as a whole is stronger when the family is placed as the natural and fundamental group. It follows that citizens who are parents are more invested in the well-being of their community. (SMF)
Many Prophets and Apostles ave also associated parenting with the blessing of joy. President James E. Faust of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, "...while few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy."
Elder Russell M. Nelson stated, "God has revealed the eternal nature of celestial marriage and the family as the source of our greatest joy."
President Hinckley proclaimed, "Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none of is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts becomes life's most satisfying compensation."
Save the Children
11)
They Cannot Be Lost: Temple Covenants
Save Families
Father’s story
"I remember lying on the bed after work one day and sobbing that I wanted my child back, pure and innocent and part of the family again. I had to tell this daughter to leave our home because she would not live the rules and we were trying to protect her younger sisters. I sat in the closet for a long time that night braying, thinking over and over again, how can a father kick one of his daughters out of the home?"
President Boyd K. Packer reminded us, "...it is a great challenge to raise a family in the darkening mists of our moral environment." Despite the efforts of loving and dedicated parents who want nothing more than to teach their children true principles, some of those children may stray and be drawn away by forces well beyond the control of their parents.
The Prophet Joseph Smith promised, "...when a seal is put upon the father and mother, it secures their posterity, so that they cannot be lost, but will be saved by the virtue of the covenant of their father and mother." However, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints know that exaltation is different than salvation. God will ultimately righteously and mercifully judge those who have strayed from the gospel path in this life and give them their reward.
Prophet's Promises to Parents of Wayward Children
"I remember lying on the bed after work one day and sobbing that I wanted my child back, pure and innocent and part of the family again. I had to tell this daughter to leave our home because she would not live the rules and we were trying to protect her younger sisters. I sat in the closet for a long time that night braying, thinking over and over again, how can a father kick one of his daughters out of the home?"
President Boyd K. Packer reminded us, "...it is a great challenge to raise a family in the darkening mists of our moral environment." Despite the efforts of loving and dedicated parents who want nothing more than to teach their children true principles, some of those children may stray and be drawn away by forces well beyond the control of their parents.
The Prophet Joseph Smith promised, "...when a seal is put upon the father and mother, it secures their posterity, so that they cannot be lost, but will be saved by the virtue of the covenant of their father and mother." However, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints know that exaltation is different than salvation. God will ultimately righteously and mercifully judge those who have strayed from the gospel path in this life and give them their reward.
Prophet's Promises to Parents of Wayward Children
12) Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families
The Failure of Contemporary Happiness
There are many hobbies out there that are very enjoyable. There is snowmobiling, golf, games, hunting, fishing, sports, and many other activities. These can all be done to make someone be in a transient state of feeling well, or happy. These are all fine and dandy until they take too much time over the time you would be spending with your family. Everything is good in moderation. If someone forgets the responsibilities they have of family and replaces them with their personal recreation time and time again, then problems may arise.
If Happiness Is Not the Answer, What Is?
Deci and Flaste wrote, "In truth, happiness is not all that it's cracked up to be, and most people don't really want to be happy all the time anyway. People often choose to go to movies or operas that are very unsettling- that terrify, sadden, disgust, or anger them. There is something about experiencing these emotions, whether in the safe and comfortable context of a theater or at a dangerous mountain pass in the Himalayas that is appealing to many people...The true meaning of being alive is not just to feel happy, but to experience the full range of human emotions."
They continued and talked about how happiness is the wrong concept for what is natural to people. They asked if we really want to be happy. People don't want happiness if it is superficial and only moments of enjoyment. "Instead, what we seek is really found in "the great plan of happiness".
There are many hobbies out there that are very enjoyable. There is snowmobiling, golf, games, hunting, fishing, sports, and many other activities. These can all be done to make someone be in a transient state of feeling well, or happy. These are all fine and dandy until they take too much time over the time you would be spending with your family. Everything is good in moderation. If someone forgets the responsibilities they have of family and replaces them with their personal recreation time and time again, then problems may arise.
If Happiness Is Not the Answer, What Is?
Deci and Flaste wrote, "In truth, happiness is not all that it's cracked up to be, and most people don't really want to be happy all the time anyway. People often choose to go to movies or operas that are very unsettling- that terrify, sadden, disgust, or anger them. There is something about experiencing these emotions, whether in the safe and comfortable context of a theater or at a dangerous mountain pass in the Himalayas that is appealing to many people...The true meaning of being alive is not just to feel happy, but to experience the full range of human emotions."
They continued and talked about how happiness is the wrong concept for what is natural to people. They asked if we really want to be happy. People don't want happiness if it is superficial and only moments of enjoyment. "Instead, what we seek is really found in "the great plan of happiness".
Building the Best Family Experiences: Principles of Wholesome Recreation
"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." (FP)
What are wholesome recreational activities?
Wholesome recreation is an intentional process. It can promote positive development in our children, strengthen our marriages, and build strong families. These are some aspects of wholesome recreation: verbally communicate, develop skills, face challenges, create memories, share traditions and beliefs, and spend time together in a family setting.
Some things my family did growing up that I consider wholesome recreational activities:
1) Going on bike rides
2) Going for walks around the block
3) Planting a garden
4) Weeding a garden
5) Harvesting the fruit from the garden
6) Family trips and vacations
7) Playing board games
8) Visiting people in the nursing home
9) Fellowshipping with others
10) And of course, going to Church and having Family Home Evening
Not all of these activities may always be joyful and fun- is what your kids might be saying. Every family is different and they need to set up their own activities that help to build one another and strengthen one another. Just like practicing for sports, it is not always an enjoyable experience, but in the end game, those activities have helped the team become stronger and able to triumph over the enemy and progress towards victory together.
Conclusion
I hope that you now have a better understanding of the tools we have as God's children to use for the benefit of our marriages and families. Families can be together forever as we make the necessary
sacrifices to help our family grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have seen how implementing these great words from our Prophets blesses our lives as well as the lives of others. I know that God really does love us and wants us to be happy, not only in this life with our earthly families, but with our eternal families in the life to come.
"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." (FP)
What are wholesome recreational activities?
Wholesome recreation is an intentional process. It can promote positive development in our children, strengthen our marriages, and build strong families. These are some aspects of wholesome recreation: verbally communicate, develop skills, face challenges, create memories, share traditions and beliefs, and spend time together in a family setting.
Some things my family did growing up that I consider wholesome recreational activities:
1) Going on bike rides
3) Planting a garden
4) Weeding a garden
5) Harvesting the fruit from the garden
6) Family trips and vacations
7) Playing board games
8) Visiting people in the nursing home
9) Fellowshipping with others
10) And of course, going to Church and having Family Home Evening
Not all of these activities may always be joyful and fun- is what your kids might be saying. Every family is different and they need to set up their own activities that help to build one another and strengthen one another. Just like practicing for sports, it is not always an enjoyable experience, but in the end game, those activities have helped the team become stronger and able to triumph over the enemy and progress towards victory together.
Conclusion
I hope that you now have a better understanding of the tools we have as God's children to use for the benefit of our marriages and families. Families can be together forever as we make the necessary
sacrifices to help our family grow in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have seen how implementing these great words from our Prophets blesses our lives as well as the lives of others. I know that God really does love us and wants us to be happy, not only in this life with our earthly families, but with our eternal families in the life to come.
Sources:
https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation
"Successful Marriages and Families" edited by Alan Hawkins, David Dollahite, and Thomas Draper
Videos:
http://youtu.be/CVBRWX7sIuA
http://youtu.be/qPJ3IalMRV4
Articles:
Pictures:
http://blogs.thenews.com.pk/blogs/2012/07/of-courtship-cupid-and-marriage/
http://www.datizen.com
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/Education_g314-Education_Training_Career_Plan_p39330.html
http://wespeakenglishproject.org/?p=167
http://mormonbudget.com/2010/04/sufficient-faith-to-accomplish-goals/
http://spiritofsplendor.blogspot.com/2011/06/distinction-1-soul-mate.html
http://gracewalkministries.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-love-of-god.html
http://www.bellethemagazine.com/2013/04/chandeliers-and-outdoor-weddings-part-2.html
http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/sandiego/gallery/download.php?id=272
http://suturi.com/?p=4904
http://www.cbc.ca/news/pointofview/2009/11/child-rearing-do-you-praise-your-children.html
http://www.rtseattle.org/hearts_rebuilding_homes.php
http://www.sheinspires.com.au/qld-floods/rebuilding-from-qld-floods
http://fatherjulian.blogspot.com/2012/10/help-your-children-gain-confidence.html
http://www.sodahead.com/living/are-fatherhood-and-motherhood-equally-important/question-2580337/?link=ibaf&q=&esrc=s
http://www.zdnet.com/blog/gadgetreviews/top-10-affordable-gadgets-for-fathers-day-gift-guide/5028
http://womeninthescriptures.blogspot.com/2009/10/eves-curse.html
http://337moua.blogspot.com
http://www.prweb.com/releases/today-in-america-tv-show/family-rec-series/prweb9196943.htm
http://www.kval.com/news/local/93729439.html
http://cfcneighborhood.blogspot.com/2012/06/national-family-month.html
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